48 Hours
by Sue Pokorny
Summary: Tag to the wonderful finale, Swan Song. After everything, could Dean really keep his promise?


_Wow- I still don't know what to feel about the finale. It was… heart wrenching. Now comes a long summer of wondering and waiting. I have no idea how to answer all the questions the finale brought up.. They managed to stop Lucifer and the apocalypse, but now what? How did Sam get out? Was it God? Is he really Sam? The only question I was sure about was this one: could Dean just walk away because he promised Sam he would? Here's my answer._

**48 Hours**

He took another long swallow of the burning liquid, the heat of the alcohol spreading through him as he waited for the numbness he craved. The hours spent in Lisa's arms had dulled the pain for a while, but soon the waves of despair and loss had crashed back through those temporary barriers and engulfed him once more

He could barely breath.

It had been forty-eight hours. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Sam, his face a mixture of fear and determination, falling back into the gaping hole, pulling Adam with him. Every instinct Dean had had urged him to follow them down, but his body had not been able to move. It was as if he'd been frozen, the beating he'd taken causing his head to swim, his body to betray him. He could only sit there, leaning against the familiar warmth of the Impala as his brothers plunged into the depths of Hell.

Forty-eight hours ago his brothers had saved the world.

And left him with nothing.

When he'd said goodbye to Bobby, he'd felt like he'd died, too. He walked away from his life… just like he'd promised. When he knocked on Lisa's door, he wasn't sure what he'd expected. She had been relieved, happy to see him, that he was okay. He'd told her part of it as they lay in her bed in the darkness. She'd held him, told him it was okay.

But it wasn't okay.

He wasn't sure if anything would ever be okay again.

A soft sound pulled his attention to the stairs and he smiled as Lisa slowly crossed the room and curled up on the couch next to him.

"Hey," she said quietly. She'd stopped asking if he was alright. He guessed it was pretty obvious he wasn't no matter how many times he answered to the contrary. "Couldn't sleep?"

Dean shook his head and took another sip of the whiskey. "No." He put an arm around her and pulled her close, taking in the clean scent of her shampoo as he waited for her to settle against him.

They sat like that, in the still of the dark, the only sounds the distant thunder of the passing storm and the rustle of the trees in the wind.

It was Lisa who finally broke the silence. "I know you can't stay."

Dean tensed, not sure how to respond.

"It's okay," she continued, not moving from her place curled into his side. "I know."

"What do you know?"

She didn't respond immediately and Dean finally shifted enough to see her face, prompting her to respond.

"When we met back in '98," Lisa began slowly, a soft smile lifting her lips. "I remember the two of us, just lying in bed all weekend, doing…." She laughed, her eyes flashing up at him. "Well, you know what we were doing."

He returned the smile, his eyes warming at the memory. "Yeah. Kind of hard to forget."

He leaned back against the couch and pulled her closer.

"Well, when we weren't… you know… " she continued, her voice lilting, making him relax despite everything. "We did manage to talk, and I can remember you talking about him. About Sam. It was like you lit up when you spoke about him… about how smart he was, how aggravating he could be. The way you talked about him…. I think that was when I fell in love with you."

"Lisa,' Dean began, but she shook her head, silencing him as she continued.

"I know. We hardly even know each other. But I don't think knowing your favorite color or your sign is going to tell me anymore about you than what I already know. The way you talked about Sam, the love I could see pouring out of you… that was the man I knew I could trust. I knew I could care about. You were so proud of him, it was like he was your kid instead of your brother."

Dean took a breath and slowly released it. "I guess he kind of was. My dad wasn't around much, so it was kind of my job to look out for him. To teach him stuff."

"You must have done a great job."

Dean closed his eyes at the compliment. "Yeah, maybe."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes until Lisa's soft voice broke it once again. "I'd do anything for Ben. Anything. So, I get it. I understand why you can't stay."

Before he could respond, Lisa sat up and turned to face him fully, her eyes finding his and holding them in an intense gaze. "It's okay, Dean. He's your family. I get it. Me and Ben… we're not going anywhere. You and I, we have so much more to learn about each other. I really hope we get that chance. I want that chance. But…." She looked away for a moment before taking a deep breath and returning her gaze back to him. "I know you have to follow your heart, Dean. And I know that your brother is your heart."

Dean searched her face and was surprised to find that he wanted that chance, too. "I meant what I said," he whispered. "When I said I saw myself happy with you and Ben, I wasn't lying about that."

Lisa smiled. "I know."

"It's just… I thought I could… I wanted to…."

As he struggled for the words, she lifted a hand to his face, laying it lightly along his cheek.

"Shhh, Dean. It's okay. I know."

He looked into her eyes and saw that she did.

"I have to find him," he said, his voice low. "I can't live knowing what he's going through. I can't…"

She pulled him close, holding him as tight as she had when he'd first stepped through the doorway. "I know. It's okay. Come back to bed. You can say goodbye to Ben in the morning."

He nodded, not trusting his voice to respond.

"Just promise me something," she whispered into his ear. "Promise me that you will do everything you possibly can to come back to us… to come back to me."

He slowly pulled away, his hand coming up to her cheek, his thumb wiping away the tear that had fallen from her eye. He wasn't sure what he felt for her, but he was pretty sure he wanted to find out. He'd never imagined himself with an 'apple pie life' as Sam had called it – he wasn't even sure if he could make it work. And he did want to try.

But not without Sam. Promise or no, he couldn't be happy, couldn't even come close, until he knew his brother was okay.

He wasn't sure if Winchesters could even have happy endings. But, as long as Sam was by his side, he figured he might be able to pull it off.

"I promise,"

The End


End file.
